Dead creepy
I’m the simulator guy on the team. That has long been established with my love of all things sim. So it was with a morbid curiosity that I downloaded the Autopsy Simulator demo from Steam as part of this year’s Steam Next Fest. You can download it too, if you dare.
I went in assuming it would be another weird little simulator showing me the mundane life of an autopsy technician. Oh was I wrong. But oh was I also right. But I was mostly wrong.
Game Information
Release Date: TBA
Developer: Woodland Games
Publisher: Woodland Games
Availability: Steam (Demo available)
Unlike, say, Bus Simulator or Lawn Mowing Simulator, Autopsy Simulator seems to have a story of sorts. And no, it’s not a cutesy rom-com deal where the lonely 30-something who only hangs out with dead people suddenly finds love with their neighbour. Actually, it might be, but from the 30-minute demo I played, that wasn’t the vibe I got as the goosey p’s ran up my arms and stuck the hairs on the back of my neck on end. And if you’re wondering what goosey peas are – they’re goose pimples. I call them ‘goosey peas’ because it makes them less associated with being terrified.
Anyway, the game begins with your character, Jack, in his office. After a quick mooch around it’s time to grab the video camera (the game takes place in the early 90s) and get to work in the butcher’s room. That’s what I assume autopsy veterans call it. The meat locker? Cold storage? Do I sound cool yet?
A quick set up of a camera, minus the ring light and OnlyFans login, and it’s time to see what the poor bugger on the table died of.
There’s some helpful narration by Jack. He essentially guided me through the actions required to perform the autopsy. First, a quick look at the police file to learn the circumstances of the victim’s demise. Poor Tobey was found dead in a ditch. He was known around town as a homeless boozer whose wife had run away years ago. The poor guy was down on his luck and had turned to the drink. The local arsehole kids sometimes bullied him, but he didn’t cause much trouble, aside from begging outside the gas station and offering to wash cars to make some cash to feed his addiction.
That’s Tobey’s story, but how did he end up on the slab? You can’t ask him. He’s dead. You have to ask his innards and see what they say. But first, an external examination. This was the easy part and my lunch was holding steady in my stomach.
Then I was told to take the scalpel and open his torso. I felt a little dread in doing this. It’s one thing to shoot a masked baddie in Call of Duty, but to cut open a life-like human facsimile? That’s different, and a bit close to home. Still, I followed the instructions and carved through the flesh, and then pulled back Tobey’s chest to expose all of his wonderful innards. Yum.
It wasn’t as horrific as I thought it would be, which I am grateful for, but it was still a little uncomfortable. I continued following the guide, taking out pieces of Tobey, examining them, cutting them, and even withdrawing some fluids to examine in the centrifuge. Very technical stuff, and it made me feel smarter than I actually am.
Then the power went out. Of course, it did. With a flashlight in hand, I wandered out of the cutting room and back into the hallway and then there was a shriek that sounded like a get getting yeeted. My character jumped and dropped his torch. I jumped and spilt my tea. A cautious walk to the storage room and a couple of flipped switches restored the power.
And then it hit me – this isn’t just a simulator game, is it? If I had taken the time to read the store page for the game, I’d know that this was a horror game, not just a dinky little simulator for sad dads to while away the hours with.
As I walked back towards where I had left Tobey, I wondered if he would actually still be there. Would the game do that to me? Would it have him sitting upright, playing with his own heart? I crept back in and to my relief, Tobey was still chilling on the table. Phew.
A few more tests, slices, and examinations later and I had determined that poor Tobey kicked the bucket after getting absolutely sozzled and then choking on his own vomit as he slept.
With the autopsy done, I assumed the game would fade to black, thank me for playing, and insist I add the game to my wishlist. That did happen, but not before a phone call from the office. I headed toward the office but the call went to the machine. And… yeah. It was creepy as hell as a voice rasped out of the machine, and when I returned to the autopsy room to finish up, Tobey was gone and my goosey peas had spread to my nipples. Even with the heating on full blast, I was smuggling raisins under my shirt and I was relieved when the game finally gave me my “thanks for playing” message.
Autopsy Simulator is more than its name and I’m not sure I want to know the full story. I do, but I also don’t. But I probably will. I’m hooked on the strange premise and there is an educational value, even if it is a little bit grim.
Disclaimer: This preview was carried out using a demo version of the game obtained by the author’s own means and not offered directly to The Games Cabin. For more information, please read our Review Policy.
Primary version tested: PC