What do you think when somebody tells you that they write for a website, more specifically, a gaming news website? I know most people I’ve come across think I get to sit around in my under wear all day whilst playing the latest games, all hand delivered by maidens in leopard print bikinis, with a side order of Wales’ finest whiskey; Penderyn. (Seriously, if you’re a whiskey drinker, you’ll thank me later.)
Unfortunately that’s not the case, in fact it’s pretty much the reverse. So I thought I’d make a little article to give you all an idea as to the realities of such an occupation, it may even help you decide whether you want to get involved.
07:00
The alarm goes off and it’s time to get my arse out of bed. First things first; empty bladder and make room for breakfast, stand under hot water until awake.
07:20
Kettle is on and I’m scooping the instant coffee into my favorite mug. Yes, it’s Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Don’t judge me. Breakfast and general pottering around the kitchen ensues. I break a glass and claim the day ruined already. It’s still dark outside for crying out loud!
08:00
First task of the day is email checking. Each and every day I go through my emails, both personal and @thegamescabin accounts, purging the junk mail and replying to Nigerian Princes. They seem to love me, though out of good conscience and a decent up-bringing I can’t bring myself to take all the money they’re offering me.
09:00
The purge has finished and most emails that need replying to get a half-arsed, poorly written reply. It’s still early and I’m not up for mass communication, I can barely stand my internal monologue in the mornings. Time to see what’s going on in the world of video games. No work can be done until there is suitable background music, so I whack on the Battle Born album from Las Vegas rockers The Killers.
10:00
After spending the best part of an hour pouring over press releases, different Facebook and Twitter profiles of notable developers and publishers my brain is frazzled. Anymore PR speak and I’ll top myself. More coffee is needed.
10:30
A fresh mug of steaming coffee sits between me and the computer, the only barrier between myself and doing some work. Naturally I log back in to Facebook and procrastinate a bit, but it soon gets boring. I miss the Ice Bucket Challenge videos, there was something about seeing people shake violently that just appealed to me in the morning. I’m not a morning person.
11:00
Time for some actual work. I log into the website and go through my daily ritual of checking the site statistics; how many visitors, how many pages visitors are viewing on average, bounce rates, which articles are being read the most, which articles are being shared the most. You get the picture. Then it’s on to checking out the submissions from the rest of team, editing, formatting and publishing them. Sometimes I have to be extra vigilante and make sure nobody has sneaked in a cheeky ‘c*nt’ within a review. It happens, it’s hilarious, but it’s a pain in my arse.
12:00
My brain has finally caught up with my body and decided it’s time to get active. Yay! The fingertips of glory are ready and primed to go, the keys on the computer are just waiting to get smashed by my digit ninjas.
12:02
I realise that my coffee mug is empty, better get the kettle on.
13:00
A few articles later and my fingers are pumped, really feeling the burn from their vigorous workout. I flex them and consider life without them. I quickly backtrack and think about lovely things like GTA V for the PS4 and more coffee.
14:00
Review time. I’ve been smashing through Destiny lately, but my most recent endeavor is Forza Horizon 2 for Xbox One. It’s been a hard few days and every time I go to sleep I’m constantly thinking about the game. That’s what happens when you play a game too much in a short span of time. You become the game, you feel the game, you live the game. Just kidding, but it does intrude on your thoughts more than you’d think.
16:00
Four re-writes and a temper tantrum later the review is done. I’m not best pleased with it, but I reckon I’ve done an alright job. Time to publish it and start putting it out on Facebook and Twitter, see if I can’t attract a few new readers.
16:30
I’d laid down on my bed for a few minutes, just to get some rest, but I ended up having a short nap. Surprisingly it was the first time in a week that I’d managed to sleep without thinking about Forza Horizon 2. Woke up with a strange metallic taste in my mouth, the kind you always get after an afternoon nap. I imagine it’s what the Silver Surfer would taste like if you licked him. Not that I often think about licking comic book heroes.
17:00
Time to start a new review. This time I’m taking on Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor. I’ve managed to get myself an early copy, but I’ve been putting off playing it until the Forza Horizon 2 review was out of the way. I pop the disc into the PS4 and settle on floor, notepad and pen beside me (and a spare one; preparation yo!)
18:00
I’ve been playing through Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor for about an hour and having a whale of time! Then I notice I’ve not made a single note and I get a sinking feeling in my stomach, though that was most probably down to me not having eaten since breakfast. Whoops.
19:00
Dinner has been cooked to perfection (no, I made a tit of it, but it was still edible,) and my stomach is now full of nutritional goodness, giving me the energy I need to get my freak on and prove Boromir wrong.
19:05
Really did make a tit of dinner, a mad dash for the toilet for an emergency evacuation.
19:45
Still sat on the toilet, browsing 9gag on my phone. The evacuation itself didn’t take more than 10 minutes, but as every 9gagger will know…
20:30
I check my emails again and I’m not surprised to find there’s another batch of emails awaiting my reply. No thanks, they can wait til morning.
21:45
More articles published, more social networking done, more statistics analysed. My brain is full of numbers and I can’t even look at the time without feeling some resentment towards it. Back to Shadow of Mordor it is.
00:00
I’ve slain many an orc and felt far too good about it. Yet the day is almost over and I have to pry myself away from the television and put down the controller. Sleep is needed if tomorrow’s going to be a half decent and productive day.
02:00
Can’t sleep. Thinking about Shadows of Mordor too much. Damn. It’s Forza Horizon 2 all over again.
Like The Games Cabin on Facebook for the latest gaming news, reviews, rumours, gaming deals and much more!