The world is no longer a safe place for Halo fans. It’s now a world in which every mouth you come across may suddenly spill the beans on Halo 5: Guardians’ story. Every forum you visit is a potential minefield of spoilers. Facebook isn’t a place where friends share what they had for lunch, it’s a place where friends become enemies. In short: leave the internet.
Copies of Halo 5: Guardians are already floating around, so if you’re wary of spoilers and you don’t want anything ruined for you, it’s probably best to take your router outside, smash it with a rock, then smash the rock with a bigger rock. Just to be sure, yeah?
You’ll also want to throw away your mobile phone, ban your postman from bringing any mail (spoilers by mail would be impressive, actually) and basically just lock yourself in a room for the next couple of weeks.
Halo 5: Guardians releases (officially) on October 27th for the Xbox One. Rumours of a Gameboy Advance port are unfounded.
Good luck, Spartans.
Get your copy here from Amazon.com.