Ridin’ dirty
If you’ve read or watched any of my reviews in the past, you’ll know that I’m a sucker for any and all simulator games. I’m the go-to guy when it comes to driving buses, flying planes, crashing police cars – you name it, I’ve played it. Their mundane, monotonous gameplay loops are weirdly relaxing, and I love that, but more often than not, their presentation leaves a lot to be desired.
Lawn Mowing Simulator is by the book in that regard, despite the fact I played the Xbox Series X version which is supposedly optimised for next-gen consoles. I also tried the game out on Xbox Series S and the differences were negligible.
Game Information
Release Date: August 10th, 2021
Developer: Skyhook Games
Publisher: Curve Digital
Availability: Microsoft Store, Steam
Look, nobody is expecting a photo-realistic depiction of lawnmowers and pretty little gardens. These are games made on a budget, I get that, but really, in these times, there’s not really any excuse for the excessive amount of pop-in. This isn’t a huge open-world game with lots going on. It’s me riding around on a lawnmower cutting some fool’s grass. It’s small-time and this shouldn’t be a complaint.
Thankfully, it’s one of the very few complaints, because despite lacking in the technical department, Lawn Mowing Simulator delivers the mundane and monotonous gameplay that my stupid brain seems to enjoy.
Like any good sim game, you’re running a business, so you start by naming your company, picking a logo, and then choosing your starting machine. I can’t tell you if the stuff in the game is licensed or not, and I don’t really care if it is or isn’t. I’m not a gardening man, but I’m sure there are some enthusiasts out there who would appreciate true-to-life replications of their favourite driving lawnmowers and hedge trimmers.
Your task is, as is always the case in these games, to make fat stacks, expand your business, and eventually rule the world. I’ve never gotten to that late endgame content in any sim yet, so I don’t know if that’s actually possible, but I can dream. Why else would we spend hours sitting on our sofas cutting not-real grass?
You take on jobs that are ranked on their complexity. The more complex the garden, the more cash and RP you’ll earn – RP is basically experience points here. Level up, stockpile your cash, and you’ll be expanding your empire in no time.
No, that’s a lie. It’ll take a lot of time. Like, a disturbing amount of time. One of my first jobs was a fairly decent sized garden and it took me over 30 real-life minutes. Picture that. I, Christopher Harding, sat on my derriere for over half an hour while I moved a little man sat atop a lawnmower. Then I spent 10 minutes running around with the trimmers trying to get the last few percentage points to complete the job; you have a target, typically between 99% and 100%, and let me tell you – running around trying to get those last couple of 0.1% patches of grass is no easy feat, and it’s frustrating as hell.
I moan that it took me a long time, but that didn’t stop me from going straight on to the next job without as much as a tea-and-biscuit break.
And that’s it. You cut grass. That’s the game. You go around rich white people’s homes cutting their grass to a specified length, and you make damn well sure you don’t ruin the ground by attempting doughnuts, and you damn well make sure you don’t snip any of the precious plants. If you do crush a few petunias or leave some skid marks (on the ground, not in your knickers) then you’ll incur a penalty fee that is taken from your earnings. Fair enough, and I’ve definitely paid a higher price for skid marks in the past.
I can’t tell you if it’s a true to life experience that really captures the thrill of cutting a rich white person’s garden, though it does sound as annoying as in real life; this game had my tinnitus going nuts.
I don’t work in my garden. I pay somebody else to do it for me. And while I’ve had a hoot-n-a-holla playing Lawn Mowing Simulator from the comfort of my sofa as naked as I want, it hasn’t convinced me to pick up the tools and go and work in my own garden. I’m part of an economy. Somebody has a job because of me. I’m not going to ruin that, so for the sake of my gardener, I’ll stay indoors and play at it rather than getting involved. I wouldn’t go to a warzone and start pew-pewing because I’ve played a bit of Call of Duty, now, would I?
So, to answer the question: Is Lawn Mowing Simulator good? Yes, it’s good, if weird simulator games are your thing and you have more time than sense on your hands. Fill your grass sacks and remember, leave it to the professionals and keep it on the sofa. God bless.
Review Disclaimer: This review was carried out using a copy of the game bought at the expense of the reviewer. For more information, please read our Review Policy.
Primary version tested: Xbox Series X|S
The Good
- The video game equivalent of wiping dust from a car window - satisfying, and you can make pretty patterns
- Inoffensive, simple, and relaxing gameplay
- A good progression system that rewards your time investment
The Bad
- The sound design can't be faulted, but the sound of a lawn mower is annoying after a while
- Presentation is poor with harsh pop-in of details